Caddy Dictionary, Golf Terms, Looper Lingo - M

MASHIE NIBLICK – (n) old wooden shafted golf club used at the turn of the 20th Century. Loft similar to a 9 iron.

The money club (favorite stick) of early 20th Century sadomasochistic golfers.
Pedophiliac members love the way it sounds coming out of a young looper's mouths.
EX: Sir would you like your mashie niblick?

MATCH PLAY – (n) a golf duel, results are determined by the number of holes won.

Players who occasionally build snowmen favor this format. Other proponents include those who occasionally do it long yet wrong.
EX: Match play is claimed to be the purest form of golf competition but it can get gross and downright dirty some times.

MILITARY GOLF – (n) left, left, left, right, left. AKA – Army golf

This is how the average chop plays and the reason a caddie ends up walking much more than 4.5 miles a round.
EX: Military golf can be defended utilizing a golf cart and three club hand offs.

MISREAD – (n/v) a poor prognostication for how a putt's line, how it breaks or curves on its course to the golf hole.

If you were illiterate and made the mistake of asking another illiterate to read you a book, when they couldn’t perform the task well, would you get mad at them? Worse yet, would you ask them to read you another book again later on?  
Insanity is repeating the same thing yet expecting different results.  
Loopers, just misread the 1st putt every loop you get. Hopefully your player isn't insane, then you can focus more on making fun of your players behind their backs. 
EX:  Sure sir, my dyslexia makes misreading this putt both fast and easy.

MIXED PLAY – (n) when husbands and wives torture one another with 18 golf holes.

This blood ritual is usually performed on Sunday afternoons. A grotesque practice which occurs at nearly every private golf course in the world. Outside witnesses agree this obscene act should be condemned and banished.
It's simple, if you marry then mix the sexes in golf, you’re asking for trouble.
EX: No I don't need the cash that bad, I’d rather get evicted than work mixed play.

MULLIGAN – (n) accepted cheating, players hit a 2nd ball ignoring penalty strokes.

Typically occurs on the first tee, though some chops will try and claim one a nine, etc.  All in all, it's simple arbitrary cheating nonsense.
EX: Try to start a your day watching 4 terrible drives backed up by 4 horrible mulligans, death march depression.

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