RANGE FINDER - (n) a device used to measure a golf shot's yardage.
Walking off yardage is a painstaking archaic ritual. Either use one of these devices or get experienced enough to be a seeing-eye looper able to spit yardages + or - 2 yards using the naked eye.
EX: Range finders are fine for getting yardage but for the experienced club caddy they may be unneeded clutter.
RAT - (n) a young caddie and or bagroom employee usually prepubescent and tiny in size.
They are prone to being exposed to things they are too young to understand or witness. They are baptized by lakings and have a tendency to catch cart happy fever.
EX: You rats go down to the range, I don’t want to see you again until every range ball is picked up.
RATÓN - (n) the superior sounding description of Rodentia, more specifically, a mouse.
Young caddies are not much taller than a standard length driver or 1 wood.
EX: The more gentile loopers will refer to their miniaturized rookie caddy counterparts as ratóns.
READ GREENS – (v) to foretell the break or curvature of a golf ball's line toward the hole.
Avoid doing this if possible, never offer any player advice unless petitioned.
Note to Loopers: Memorize the 1st green at your club so you can answer players with exact disinformation and misreads. Do this incorrectly and they will never stop bothering about which way you think a putt breaks. Don't be foolish.
If you somehow have a talent for predicting putting lines keep it to yourself, perhaps take up playing the game for a living.
EX: Sorry Sir, I’m an illiterate dyslexic, I cannot read books less read greens for that matter.
RED FACE –
EX: The key to neutralizing a red face is through laughter, never take them or their childish temper tantrums seriously.
REGULARS - (n) a caddy's usual clientele.
They pay well, they are easy to work for and have a sense of empathy. Servicing players such as this can be quite a pleasure and make the job worthwhile.
EX: A looper with consistent regulars can circumvent almost any and all oppressive caddieyard systems.
REX - (adj) describes anything of poor taste or repugnancy.
This word is spawn from its forefather, the slang term "T", short for trash.
This word is spawn from its forefather, the slang term "T", short for trash.
EX: It's complete rex when old men golfers starts running their mouths about young working girls and blue pills.
RIDE PINE – (v) waiting for a loop. AKA – riding the bench.
The majority of mindless caddie's fill this time with pursuits of sloth like playing cards, watching TV, arguing with one another, sleeping, hitting zeeks, plugging dipsters, and staring at walls.
Note to Loopers: try reading books, learn fast and get the hell out of this line of work as soon as possible.
EX: A looper without regulars has no choice but to ride pine.
ROAST - (v) to be in a state of anger, to humiliate or berate someone, even oneself.
Some people roast more than others, an exhausting pastime.
EX: That guy is really laid back and easy going, I’ve never seen him roast once.
ROASTER – (n) a person who always seems to be angry.
It’s not necessarily negative so long as the person's roast is never aimed at you. Some of the funniest folks in the world are angry rant prone people.
RIP: George Carlin 1937 - 2008
EX: A true bonafide roaster is not happy unless he's complaining.
ROCK HUDSON – (n) a putt which looks straight but ain't.
It’s a reference to the gay ex-looper Hollywood icon.
EX: I’ve missed this putt too many times, I know it’s not straight, it’s a right edge Rock Hudson.
ROT – (v) to sit far too long waiting for the day's loop
There have been eons, years and years, of productive man power laid to waste by caddies sitting idle without work. To sit and wait for loopage is more exhausting than performing the actual duty itself.
EX: During the lean months of a golf season, it is not uncommon to find an entire caddieyard rotting from sun up to sun down.
ROUGH – (n) areas of long, heavy, shoe drenching grass where chops frequent.
In a morning round, good golfers' pant legs stay dry while chops always seem to get theirs sopping wet.
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