SANDBAGGER - (n) a player who underestimates their golfing ability, they tend to carry bloated handicap indexes helping them win tournaments and bets.
One of the most hated, feared, and (depending on how charming their cheating tactics are) admired golfers.
These cheaters are buzz saws in tournament play and can be spotted consistently missing inconsequential putts or loafing on holes in which there is little consequence.
EX: True sandbaggers have a keen sense of when to turn their games on and off.
SAND TRAP – (n) also called a bunker, trap, sand bunker, bunker dix, or sandy cox. They are deemed a hazard meaning you cannot ground your club in them.
Of course bunker dix aren't bad so long as you don't fetch a fried egg, down hill lie, or catch sand in your face on the follow through with a strong head wind.
Almost every looper agrees with the great Harvey Penick. We should at once banish raking these things, sand bunkers should go back to being true hazards, all rakes be damned.
EX: Ratóns sometimes get tossed into sand traps after getting laked if they continue to smart off to their looping elders.
SAND WEDGE – (n) 56 degree golf club used for high lofted shots or getting out of bunkers.
Keep these out of you chops hands if the texas wedge is an option.
EX: An illegal spin doctor sand wedge provides for hours of entertainment around the greens.
SANDWICH BOMB – (n) the trick of applying sand to the base of a flagstick.
If performed correctly, withdrawing the flagstick post-sand application is next to impossible. Many times the increased effort to yank the flagstick loose will cause the entire cup to be unearthed.
EX: Post thunderstorm loopage is primetime for dipping flagsticks into wet traps, planting sandwich bombs for the unsuspecting caddies behind you.
SCRAMBLIZED - (v/adj) a team game usually reserved for golf outings, where the best shot of the group is used.
This is the ONLY way any golf outing should ever be played. Shambles and any other group golf tournament formats should be outlawed, banned for the betterment of everyone.
EX: Some forecaddies get foot loose when the format is scramblized.
SCRATCH GOLFER - (n/adj) supposedly an expert golfer who shoots par or better, the claim of having a 0, +1, +2, etc. handicap.
Anybody laying claim to be a scratch golfer probably is not. True ice men don't have handicaps, they let their golf shots collect their trophies, checks, and respect.
EX: People who claim to be scratch golfers tend to shoot in the high seventies, those who shoot par or better only use the term handicap in reference to mentally or physically challenged folks.
SERVE OUT – (n/v) over doing it, someone who exhibits dork-like over-exuberance, knowledge, or passion for a certain thing.
In life – you name it – there’s a serve out: Star Wars, Dungeons and Dragons, Weight Lifting, Useless Sports Knowledge, Fashion, Movies, Mindless Pop-culture Awareness, Video Games, Cars, Nutrition, Weed, Languages, Wine, Harry Potter, Conspiracy Theories, Yoga, and Legos… it seems there is not one topic which is out of bounds.
In life – you name it – there’s a serve out: Star Wars, Dungeons and Dragons, Weight Lifting, Useless Sports Knowledge, Fashion, Movies, Mindless Pop-culture Awareness, Video Games, Cars, Nutrition, Weed, Languages, Wine, Harry Potter, Conspiracy Theories, Yoga, and Legos… it seems there is not one topic which is out of bounds.
When discussing serve outs, this all time classic MTV documentary on video game serves comes to mind:
EX: Too much of anything is not a good thing furthermore overdoing one’s time spent on any one thing leads one to being deemed a serve out.
SHAMBLE – (n) a modified scramble where chops elect the best drive and play the hole out individually from there.
It was brought about through a nihilistic movement of those enjoying painful golf outings with coworkers, clients, etc.
EX: A golf outing with a shamble format equals a 6 hour death march.
SHANK – (n/v) produced when one strikes the golf ball hosel first, it is perhaps the ugliest and deadliest shot in all golf.
It's best not to say this word out loud on a golf course.
EX: Dangerous to one's score and other's safety, shanks are no laughing matter.
SHOOT YOUR AGE – (v) shooting a golf score lower than or matching one's age in years.
Any senior player who achieves this feat on a standard length 18 hole golf track should be regaled for physically standing the test of time.
EX: Old man Jenson shot his age with a smoking 88, bettering his years on earth by a count of four!
SHUCK AND JIVE - (v) look as if your hands are full at all times.
Reply "Yes Maser" always, even if you never intend to do what they ask of you.
EX: A clever looper can shuck and jive their way out of doing their job any time anywhere.
SIT – (v) a command for the golf ball to stop.
Just like a dog, it hardly ever listens.
Just like a dog, it hardly ever listens.
EX: Get down ball, sit!
SKULL – (adj/v) a dramatic thinly hit golf shot producing laser like worm burning results.
Caused by striking the golf ball with the leading edge of the club as opposed to the clubface.
EX: I skulled my shot out of the bunker, clear out of bounds.
SLICE - (n/v) a shot when hit by a right hander that curves severely from left to right, vice versa for lefties.
It is also referred to lightly as a banana ball; but there is nothing cute nor nutritious about this most common of mishits. Unless it was planned beforehand or called upon to escape oneself from a tight jam, there is no excuse for such an ugly pathetic waste of energy.
Common causes are due to an open clubface at impact, outside to inside swing paths, or not releasing the golf club itself.
EX: A slice is the most common problem shot for chops when learning the game of golf.
SLIP – (n/v) a tip / to tip.
The more discretion and private a tip is executed - the better for all parties involved.
Caddies with brains and members with balls know never to discuss compensation with outside parties.
EX: The free loading guest who has not the class to slip should be blackballed by any self-respecting looper.
SLIPPAGE - (n) a tip from any guest(s) served.
Some of the worst acting in the world occurs on golf courses at the end of rounds when classless guests cop phony offers to their member host to pay for the caddies or when a guest "tries" to tip a caddie while consciously making a scene in front of everyone and their mother.
The bottom line is this, true macs don’t have to ask anybody. They compensate player to caddie, with large bills privately, paying gratitude with class and cash.
EX: The player that comes with the strongest slippage can be excused by their caddie for many a mishap.
SLUGFEST – (n) a sucky loop or event in one’s day.
Just conjure a tommy gun pumping you in the chest full of hot slugs – pop pop pop pop pop pop pop reload pop pop pop pop pop pop reload pop pop pop pop.
Well, you get the brutal concept:
Well, you get the brutal concept:
EX: Taking part in any mixed play shotgun event is like accepting an invitation to an all day slugfest in rolling green fields of execution.
SNAKE CHARMER - (n) any golfer extremely talented with the flat stick.
Long far away putts that drop can be followed by the classic snake charm salute, "da na na na na - da na na na na na na".
EX: Chops who suffer from the yips have usually been snake bitten one time too many, conversely the greatest rollers of the golf ball, those who consistently drain ox and or drop putts, these players may be deemed snake charmers.
SNAP HOOK – (n/v) for a right hander, a ball which turns violently from right to left.
This is the most hideous of hook shots. Also referred to as a duck hook.
EX: The wee ice man, Ben Hogan, detested and fought against the snap hook his entire career.
SNOWMAN – (n) a score of an 8 for a hole.
Refers to the rotundly shape of the number eight. Not a good score ever, anywhere.
EX: I'm not gonna break 100 today, I made to many snowmans on the back nine.
SPACESHIP - (n/adj) an unusually large clubhead, most often in reference to putters.
The Futura by Scotty Cameron comes to mind. Proof that once you have your name brand out there, you can release a hideous, yet comical looking club and even more chops will come clamoring, paying out top duck-eye premiums (msrp - manufacturers suggested retail price) for the latest "greatest" thing. Retarded.
= 
EX: The no slip PC I had in yesterday's slugfest insisted the head cover be kept on his spaceship putter at all times. Credit to Jimmy P
SPEARZO – (n/v) a golf shot that lands directly in the hole.
Refers to Cleveland's own Patrick Spearzo, he who aced a Locust Grove par 3 on the fly. Though not exclusively used for a hole in one, the word particularly refers to knocking a golf shot straight in, no bounce, no roll, boom drain-ox.
EX: Watch caddy shack of fame member Miguel Angel Jimenez spearzo his golf shot.
SPLITAGE – (n) the splitting of tips between two or more loopers.
This agreement generally works if your caddieyard has some semblance of solidarity. This is almost an unspoken rule amongst respectable caddies.
As for the scummy yards that have long been divided and conquered – forget it. Sadly in such an environment, it’s every man for himself.
The one exception to this rule is if your caddie counterpart is not properly fulfilling their mandate, if this is the case any and all tips belong in your pocket.
EX: If your yard lacks men who respect the rule of splitage you may want to find another club to work at.
STANCE - (n) the style or position of one's feet at the time of address.
The common advice is to make like you are playing defense in basketball. For most chops attaining this athletic posture is next to impossible.
EX: If a player seeks to draw or hook a shot, closing one's stance will help to create an inside out swing path.
STROKE - (n/v) the forward movement of the club made with intent of striking the ball. It also may refer to the back and forth movement of a player's putter.
Thanks to erasers on scoring pencils they are disappearing. Also always remember, it's not a stroke unless you actually admit to it.
EX: In golf the player with the least amount of strokes wins.
STROKE PLAY - (n) the competition in which results are determined by the number of admitted strokes played.
Not to be confused with match play.
EX: Most tournaments competitions are decided using the stroke play format, the winner has the least strokes totaled.
STYMIE – (n/v) an old archaic rule in match play, on the putting surface, when an opponent's ball sat on a direct line between the cup and the ball in play, hindering a clear path to the hole.
It had to be more than six inches apart. The rule was outlawed in 1952.
EX: Stymied, he had little choice but to try and chip over his opponents ball.
SUPER LOOPER - (n) the alpha caddie of the yard.
These guys are usually grizzled vets who won't hesitate to throw a fellow looper under a moving bus to attain what they want.
EX: The standard super looper of a yard wrangles the crispest bags, turns an estimated 300 choice loops a year while raking in the highest average pull per round.
SWEAT BATH - (n) describes a hot and typically humid round of golf.
Grab your Gold Bonds, guzzle vats of water, and do anything you can to avoid carrying a golf bag on these days.
EX: Early August is high season for sweat baths in North America.
SWEATY - (adj) something sexually arousing or having lots of sex appeal.
This has nothing to do with the temperature and everything to do with animalistic attraction and sexiness.
EX: I can't help it, every time she comes around I get sweaty with a case of nonstop semi's!
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